


A Flower that Never Bloomed

by mono_no_aware (TheWhimsicalNoirette)



Series: Haikyuu!! Week [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, Haikyuu Angst Week, Haikyuu Angst Week 2020, Haikyuu Week, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Pining, Romance, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:41:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27401401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWhimsicalNoirette/pseuds/mono_no_aware
Summary: Kenma felt a wave of nausea hit him, as he rushed to remove his oxygen mask. When he successfully removed the mask, he bent over and hurled.He stared in horror at the flower petals that littered his bed. It was in different sizes and shapes this time, and he even recognized some of it—roses, chrysanthemum, sakura, sweet pea, and the most familiar one was the camellia.It was all in the same shade of deep red.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei
Series: Haikyuu!! Week [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2001808
Kudos: 67





	A Flower that Never Bloomed

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! This is my first attempt at joining Haikyuu!! Week so bear with me please.
> 
> I just suddenly had a burst of inspo from a song that I was listening to and ended up writing this.
> 
> Thank you in advance to anyone who will read my short fic. :">

A gentle, spring breeze drifted inside a large, traditional house. The sliding door made out of _shoji_ was opened, revealing the _tatami_ room where a person laid in the center of the room. The person coughed, covering their mouth with their fist. Wilted flower petals of unknown type were blown away by the passing wind.

“Kenma! Are you there?” A loud, deep voice of a man resounded inside the house. Footsteps were heard immediately, as the other person intruded without hearing Kenma’s invitation who was still lying comfortably on the _tatami_ mats.

“Oi, why are you not answering if you were in?” The familiar appearance of a black-haired man, dressed in a suit entered the _tatami_ room. Kenma’s gaze drifted from his phone to his long-time friend, observing his friend’s concerned expression.

“I knew you were gonna come in even if I say you can’t, Kuroo.” He lazily replied as he returned his attention to the game he was previously playing before Kuroo barged inside his house uninvited.

How many years has it been since they’ve known each other?

Has it been a decade already?

Oh, right. It has already been two decades since they have become friends.

Nothing had changed… Well, except for the fact that he’s now affected by a disease. 

It was stupid, to be honest. 

He was perfectly fine a month ago—heck, he had been fine even years prior, but now he had to live with this stupid disease for who knows how long. It started when Kuroo officially announced that he had started dating Tsukishima.

Tsukishima Kei from Sendai Frogs, a professional Division 2 team in the Volleyball League.

The two had known each other since they were in high school. Kuroo was in his third year, while Tsukishima was in his first. After that, the two kept in touch with each other and eventually became good friends. Kenma watched how Kuroo worked so hard to gain his favor. He had watched how the usually-aloof Tsukishima finally let down his guard around Kuroo.

Kenma had seen everything from the very beginning.

He had already expected that it would become something more.

Something more precious to the two of them.

Something that Kenma would not be able to break.

Something that would _break_ him instead.

Kenma coughed again, a mix of wilted and fresh flower petals he recognized as Camellia came out from his mouth in bunches. It looked quite scary as it seemed like blood at first sight, because of the deep red color of the petals. He sat up as his chest heaved when he gasped for breath, feeling himself becoming slightly feverish again.

This was now a normal day in his life after a month had passed.

“Hey, are you okay? Do you need to visit the doctor again?” Kuroo went into a panic as he ran up to his side to help him sit properly. 

He made Kenma lean into him, and the musky scent of his cologne with a slight tinge of sweat wafted into Kenma’s nose. A sigh escaped his lips as he comfortably leaned on Kuroo’s body like a feline that was about to take a nap. He closed his eyes and thought about how different would his life be if he didn’t have this disease eating away at his lifespan.

“No, I just went to the doctor last week. There was nothing he could do. It’s the same as the previous one. They said that the best way to cure this is to have the enamored to reciprocate. Other than that, the only way to remove the disease is through surgery, but there could be irreversible damage to my body.” Kenma patiently explained in a soft voice, as his eyes remained closed so as not to let his eyes linger on Kuroo’s handsome face.

He could feel Kuroo’s grip on his shoulder tightened, and it made him flinch to which his best friend immediately apologized for. Kenma chuckled, still coughing sporadically with the dark red petals of the Camellia flower flowing out of his mouth nonstop, gagging in the process.

“But it’s getting worse by the day,” he heard Kuroo quietly say from above him. Kenma just shook his head. 

“It’s no use. If I can’t get my enamored to reciprocate, no matter what I do, it’s still not going to be cured.”

After that, he saw Kuroo’s expression turn thoughtful. Then, he finally left after exchanging some more words with him and making sure that he will be fine being alone. Kenma reassured him several times that he would be and that he should get going, lest Tsukishima waits for him for too long and he gets mad at Kuroo.

When Kuroo finally left, Kenma shakily dialed a number on his phone. It rang several times before the other line picked up. A pleasant voice of a female sounded from the other line.

“Good day, this is Saito from Tokyo General Hospital. How may I help you?” The unfamiliar female voice asked politely.

“Hello, I would like to proceed with the procedure that Sasaki- _sensei_ recommended previously,” Kenma replied, voice slightly hoarse. There was a faint trace of anxiety that could be seen on his eyes and face, but luckily, no one would be able to see it.

“Of course, may I ask who this is?”

“Kozume Kenma, the one who was diagnosed with _Hanahaki_ disease.” He heard a quiet gasp from the other line of the phone before he heard someone clearing their throat, presumably, the female staff he was talking to.

“Yes, of course, Kenma- _sama_. Is this weekend fine with you?” Kenma hummed in approval and provided more personal information as required by the hospital, before dropping the call.

He looked around him and found the mess that the scattered flower petals created in the _tatami_ room. His eyes turned listless as he thought of the possible outcomes that could happen after the procedure was done. Kenma had not told anyone about his decision yet. He had not told any of his close friends like Shouyou, Fukunaga, and Taketora.

Not even Kuroo…

Kenma figured that they would needlessly worry about him and might persuade him not to go through with the procedure instead. He had not gone into explaining the details of the complications that could arise during or after the surgery. But he was sure that Kuroo had already done his research about that after finding out that he was afflicted by the said disease.

It was not long after that the weekend had arrived. It was the day that he would be operated on to remove the flowering plant that was starting to grow in his lungs which was slowly disabling him from breathing—no, from living properly.

* * *

Kenma had prepared himself bright and early, wearing a white button-down shirt and a pair of black pants. He had also tied his hair into a low ponytail; a few stray hairs framed his sickly pale face. His duffle bag had been already packed the night before. The clothes he had brought with him were just perfect for the number of days he would need for his stay at the hospital.

Four days.

It would take him four days before he was allowed to go home post-surgery.

Even then, he had no idea what would happen to him afterward.

He was scared. Terrified, even. He had no one beside him and he was going to undergo the procedure today. Kenma thought that he was so stupid to push through with it without saying anything to his friends, but he was terrified. 

It was not because of his disease, but because of what might happen after he wakes up. It was a terrifying thought—just thinking about the possibilities of forgetting a lot of things: forgetting how to love and forgetting the person you love.

Because the person he loves the most was Kuroo, and the scariest thing was that he would forget Kuroo and his feelings for him.

After that, there was little to no chance at all of recovering his memories of Kuroo or his ability to love.

Why?

It was because Kuroo had found the person he loves the most, and he’s the happiest Kenma had ever seen him since he had met him twenty years ago.

Tears unknowingly trickled down his cheeks at the thought of his best friend who had been with him for a long time. His heart suddenly seized and he clutched at his chest as if the pain would go away because of his action… but it didn’t.

It never went away. The pain just became more unbearable as time passed if anything. It grew worse after he was diagnosed with the disease that made him spit out flower petals every _damned_ second. Kenma felt his hands become clammy, while his temperature rose by the minute. His breathing became ragged as he shakily dialed for a cab, knowing fully well that he would not be able to drive himself to the hospital.

A few minutes later, there was a honk outside his house and he quickly grabbed his bag. He went into the cab after locking his house and leaving a note that he would be gone for a few days, in case Kuroo comes knocking again.

It was a short travel to the hospital, and Kenma was quickly assisted in a private room by a nurse to prepare him for his surgery. His doctor soon entered his room, a serious expression on his face as he took his stethoscope and checked on his overall condition.

“Your condition’s getting worse by the day. I’m also not sure why this is but based on your breathing alone, the plant inside your lungs is growing too fast. You need the surgery soon, Kozume- _san_.” Kenma became more nervous at what his doctor said.

There was no getting away from this anymore. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, but he suddenly doubled over, coughing. Red, camellia petals spilled out from his mouth in huge amounts and onto the white blanket that was spread over the lower half of his body. It astounded the old doctor who was now shouting for the medical staff to prepare the operating room.

“I’m ready. I already know that I _need_ this operation. Please take me to the operating room… _Now._ ” Kenma said, his face was pale but his eyes were filled with determination. It was as if he had entirely forgotten his earlier dilemma.

His doctor nodded upon seeing his resolve and directed his staff to bring Kenma to the operating room so they could start on the procedure of removing the plant from his lungs. Once inside the operating room, overwhelming fear came into him once again.

It was dark, with only several lights open. He could hear the clanking of the equipment and tools needed for his surgery. People wearing scrub suits and operating gowns went in and out of the room he was in which made him more anxious than he already was.

Soon enough, Kenma was induced with anesthetic, rendering him unconscious and immobile. Then, the operation began…

* * *

Several people were crowded around the bed of a figure who was as pale as the white sheets. They all wore concerned expressions, as they listened to the doctor’s explanation while keeping their eyes on the person lying unconscious on the bed.

It was a day after Kenma’s surgery. His friends—Kuroo, Hinata, Fukunuga, and Taketora were present. Even Kuroo’s lover, Tsukishima was also there, although he was sitting at a chair in the corner of the room as he wasn’t particularly close with Kenma unlike the rest of them.

“Why is he not waking up? I thought you said he’d immediately wake up?!” Kuroo’s voice echoed inside the room that was so quiet that a pin could be heard if dropped. The doctor also looked worried as he tried explaining the circumstances to them again.

“There are a lot of complications that could happen after the surgery is done. For now, we will be monitoring Kozume- _san_ ’s condition. Until then, all we could do is wait for him to wake up.” The doctor said before leaving everyone to their thoughts.

“K-Kenma didn’t say that he was going to have surgery. He didn’t mention it to me when I called him the other day.” Hinata spoke up, breaking the silence that was eating at everyone’s calm.

“I visited him a few days before but he never told me. And I’m _his_ best friend. So much for being one, I guess.” Kuroo scoffed, but it was more at himself rather than Kenma who peacefully laid on the bed as if he would never wake up.

Kuroo grew scared at his line of thought and he immediately shook his head, as if it would help him with throwing away those thoughts into the wind. Fukunaga and Taketora remained quiet, their gazes still trained on their friend.

“We should take turns on who’ll stay beside him,” Tsukishima spoke up from his corner in the room. They all looked at him before at each other and finally agreed.

Another day passed, and Kenma still didn’t wake up. Kuroo was on duty and he continued pestering Kenma’s doctor, questioning him repeatedly why his best friend hasn’t woken up until now. The doctor just repeated the same answer he had initially given them and then he left.

It was Taketora’s turn to stay beside him, but Kenma still didn’t wake up. The usually-loud Taketora left only after saying, “You should have more will-power, that way you’ll wake up soon. We’re very worried about you.”

Fukunaga’s turn was also uneventful. He stared blankly ahead, his thoughts unreadable as he gazed down at their unmoving friend. He was almost tempted to poke his cheek just to see if he would wake up. Inside, he was also anxiously waiting for Kenma to open his eyes. Like that, his turn on staying by Kenma’s bedside passed.

“Hey, Kenma. You know, the coach scolded me the other day because I was too distracted. It’s been almost a week. I’m really worried that you’re still not awake after all this time that’s why I missed hitting several tosses by Atsumu- _san_ …” Hinata sadly stared at the motionless Kenma. His eyes were becoming slightly misty at the thought that his friend had his eyes closed for several days now.

“But you know, we believe you’ll wake up. We know you’re recovering from a serious illness, so take all the time you need. Just… don’t make us wait too long, because everyone will be sad.” The orange-haired male let out a sigh as he prepared to leave the room for the next person to stay with their friend.

Faint shuffling on the bed could be heard and Hinata instantly turned his head to look at Kenma. His face brightened up at the sight of him slowly opening his eyes and his hand twitching before him. He was so happy that he finally shed the tears he was trying so hard to hold back.

“Kenma, you’re finally awake! Wait, let me contact Kuroo- _san_ and the rest!” Hinata quickly pulled out his phone from his pocket that it nearly slipped from his hands, making the corners of Kenma’s lips twitch in amusement.

His eyes were still trying to adjust to the bright light that seeped through the hospital curtains. How many days had he been unconscious? He barely heard Shouyou saying that it had been a week since his operation?

Kenma tried assessing his body’s condition and felt that he had an easier time breathing. He inhaled and exhaled smoothly, and found that there was no pain in his chest nor did he feel feverish and cold at the same time. It felt like he was back to normal—yes, just like several years into the past.

However, Kenma froze when he recalled something that Shouyou had mentioned earlier but he felt like his brain was mush at the moment. He just wanted to close his eyes and rest some more, so that’s what he did. He listened to Shouyou’s stories with a barely-there smile.

He grew confused the more he listened to Shouyou though. It was as if something was not clicking. Shouyou told him another story when they were still in high school, and he did remember what happened at that time, but it was still a bit blurry. Maybe it was because of the anesthesia?

Kenma hummed in acknowledgment when Shouyou reminisced on another memory of them in high school, letting him know that he was listening. It wasn’t until the door opened that his orange-haired friend halted from his story-telling. He saw him standing up and greeting his other friends who came in.

“Hey Kenma, how are you feeling?” Taketora asked as he made his way beside his bed. His eyes drifted to his mohawk-haired friend who did not seem to change ever since they were first years.

“Honestly, would’ve been better if you’re not so noisy.” Kenma teased which earned him an indignant _‘Oi!’_ from Taketora. He spotted Fukunaga making his way to Taketora’s side, and he nodded in Kenma’s direction which he returned with a smile.

“Oi, Tsukishima! Don’t just stand there!” He heard Shouyou scolding a familiar tall, blonde male by the doorway of his room. Kenma was pleasantly surprised as he thought for what reason made the reserved middle-blocker visit him.

Then, his eyes landed on the person beside him…

It was an equally tall man dressed in a suit, with hair as black as a raven that looked like he just got up from the bed. Kenma thought he looked familiar, and he felt his heart beating quickly in his chest. He was sure it was his first time seeing that person though, but it felt as if he’d known him for a long time.

His chest tightened and he felt his breath hitch in his throat, eyes widening. His friends were immediately scared that there was something wrong with him because he was turning pale so quickly. He suddenly sat up on the bed, and he could see the raven-haired male in his peripheral rushing towards his bedside.

Kenma felt a wave of nausea hit him, as he rushed to remove his oxygen mask. When he successfully removed the mask, he bent over and hurled.

He stared in horror at the flower petals that littered his bed. It was in different sizes and shapes this time, and he even recognized some of it—roses, chrysanthemum, _sakura_ , sweet pea, and the most familiar one was the camellia.

It was all in the same shade of deep red.

By the time the doctor got into the room, everyone was in a panic. His doctor checked Kenma’s condition and told everyone that it was one of the complications of removing the plant inside his lungs. He would still be coughing or vomiting petals once in a while.

“Does that mean he’s still not fully healed even after removing the plant?” Kenma heard the black-haired male asking the doctor, his eyes landed on him, studying his appearance intently and trying to remember where he had seen him before.

His head ached in response and he let out a sharp cry as he held it in between his hands. It caught the attention of everybody again. It was so excruciating that there were tears that welled up in his eyes, as he gasped for breath.

“What’s wrong with him now?!” Kenma heard the same man’s familiar voice demanding an answer, but he still couldn’t remember from where he had seen or heard him.

The doctor and Shouyou helped him lie down on the bed. Everyone watched him nervously as the doctor checked what was wrong with him this time, but his eyes remained on the figure of the man at the foot of his hospital bed, who looked like he was worried sick about him.

Just then, a warm, gentle breeze blew past the windows and the curtains, bringing in several _sakura_ petals as it was currently springtime. His eyes moved to the scenery of the beautiful flowers being blown away by the wind and the clear, blue sky outside the window. 

It was as if everything was in slow motion when it all happened. Kenma felt the breeze and a flower petal brush past the skin of his cheek. It was warm and soft—as if someone cradling him in their arms. The feeling was so familiar yet foreign.

His eyes returned to the person anxiously standing at the end of his bed. Kenma opened his mouth to speak, and before he knew it, the words were out before he could even stop himself.

“Who are you?”

And there it was again.

A budding feeling in his chest.

As if a flower that never bloomed...

**Author's Note:**

> I hope everyone who read this humble, short fic of mine, liked it.
> 
> Some might be disappointed about some of the details and how it ended...
> 
> I'm sorry about that. *bows*
> 
> Still, thank you for reading until the end! <3


End file.
